Holding On Or Letting Go

It's way past midnight. Soon, it will be morning but I am still up. Still trying to "normalize" my system. On second thought, am I normalizing? Or, am I just experiencing withdrawal symptoms from an addictive drug that I have taken lately. Without the drug, breathing seems to stop.

I always wondered how it would feel to meet someone I cared for in the past that I wanted to meet them once again. Then, I recently got acquainted with some because of technology. I guess years did some magic and erased whatever pain there was. But some people, just like me, are just to stubborn.

"If you could turn back time, would you have stayed?". A question.

"Maybe not." The only answer I can give thinking I did have stayed and nurtured the pain when they left. I am over it.

I could have answered differently but drooling over a spilled milk won't change a thing anymore. No one's to be blame. Besides, emotions do change over time. I search for that familiar feeling of being in love yet I don't find it anymore. Pain? Like I've said, not a trace. Just like a story written that I will read over and over again because of its content but I have known I can live without it cause there are other stories to read.

Perhaps, they have not move on.

Or perhaps the hardest part of letting go is holding on that they temporarily forgot to let go.

So, should I just let it go like before or should I hold on to it now?